Saturday, August 11, 2012

They still don't fit!

But I didn't really expect them to either. My size 22 jeans, that is. Although if I lay down I can at least get them over my flab now. And the 24s are a little loose now.

It's 1:25 in the morning now and I haven't eaten anything today. Haven't been hungry, and even when I did feel a flicker of it ... I just couldn't care. It's been a bad day in terms of my emotions. Sometimes when I feel like this, I'll binge because why the hell not eat what I want, I'm already miserable. But today I'm so blah that I can't be bothered. I'd have to go to the store or a drive-through for unhealthy food. Or order pizza. I can't be bothered to do either. I finally ate at 3:30, because my brain was starting to prod me to go out and get junk food even though my stomach was fine. Now I'm goddamn ravenous. I do feel slightly better though.

I couldn't sleep last night, or rather this morning, just like usual. Obsessive thoughts kept me awake for an hour or better; then I woke up every hour or so. Eventually I got up and got ready to go to my interview, which I can only hope went well because it would be the perfect job for me. I was supposedly one of only five people they were interviewing .... but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Then I came home and watched some Olympics, read some, and then eventually fell asleep. Taking a nap from 7-midnight guaranteed I'll be up way past dawn today, but at least I got some sleep finally.





2 comments:

tz said...

sorry you're feeling so low. Glad you were able to resist the urge to binge....and good luck with the job..I hate waiting...so I hope you get an answer soon.

FattyMcFatPants said...

Thanks. :) I'm trying to be positive. It's not my strong suit, lol.