Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I confuse myself.

I don't understand my psyche at all. While I was unemployed and had no prospects, my dad was in the hospital, and I thought I would never hear from the man I love again .... eating properly was pretty easy. I had a few days where I stumbled, but generally I was okay. Now my dad is home and much better, I'm working, and I heard from and even saw the boy again ... and I've been on an emotional eating bender. What the fuck? What is wrong with me? How does life heading in an upward direction trigger this kind of stupid crap?

Today I've managed, although mostly because I've been sick and haven't eaten much. I don't have anything left in the house I shouldn't eat, so tomorrow is looking up.


Lennae said...

Just a thought.....first, I have read your blog for a few weeks and I think your writing is so good! You are funny and yet can be very reflective and express yourself really well. What I wanted to say about your recent post is that your emotional eating when things seem fine is could be because you are not used to all being fine. That in itself is VERY emotional. You were used to the roller coaster ride and you could focus on eating well too because it is what you knew. The chaos you KNEW....the calm is unsettling. Does that make sense? When you let yourself be okay with things being okay your eating will follow. I am really rooting for you! Best.

FattyMcFatPants said...

You may be right. I'm not used to things going well anymore, they've been one sort of chaos or another for a good two years.