When I was 24, I weighed 250 pounds (ish), and wore a size 22 jeans. Well, I started out the year wearing a 24 or 26, usually from WalMart, with the ends chopped off because they were too long. I also wore huge baggy t-shirts. I had a few nicer tops, and maybe one pair of slacks; I knew of Lane Bryant, and shopped them sometimes, but didn't wear most of my nicer clothes. I was fat and gross, what did it matter?
In June of that year, a string of random events lead to me getting a job as a keyholder at a Lane Bryant. And there, something amazing happened. I met women who were fat, but who didn't cower in their houses, ashamed. They had lives. They had husband, boyfriends, sex. They had friends, and jobs they loved, and activities they enjoyed. They had fun. And they didn't hate themselves, complain constantly about how fat and gross they were, and they didn't diet constantly. I had never encountered such a thing. I was amazed.
It was an incredible awakening. For the first time in my life, I came out of my shell. I started to think I had worth now, not -100 pounds from now. I started talking to people -- to the point where I never shut up now. I stopped dieting. I went out. I had friends. God, I had fun. I spent a huge portion of my wages from LB right there in the store, buying a plethora of awesome new clothes -- $3000 worth. And I had a 40% discount! Suddenly, I started to see my body as it really was, instead of the blimp-like proportions I imagined. I stopped dieting and started getting really irritated when my family members gave me well-intentioned grief about my weight. For the first time in my life, I was happy.
Sometime later, I stumbled across Shapely Prose and other fat-acceptance websites. I had stumbled half-way into fat acceptance without even realizing it. The more I read, the more irritated at our society's weight obsession I became. The more I started to see examples of how fat is vilified, how fat people are mistreated, and how women especially are treated by a society that implies they should be invisible (the thinner the better) unless they're extremely sexualized. I won't go in to more; the reading is all out there for anyone. I got in to arguments with people sometimes -- at work once, a male coworker "jokingly" told a female coworker that dessert was going to go straight to her thighs. I got right in his face. It was a good time.
But basically, I stopped believing that being fat was a moral failing and that it doomed me to die of a heart attack at 30. And I was happy.
To be continued.
13 comments:
Let me just begin my comment by saying that I completely agree how wrong it is for people to vilify the obese. I, too, think it’s wrong how much America obsesses about beauty and being thin and shaming the obese, etc. I have zero problem with people being happy with themselves no matter their shape or size and truly, it makes me very sad to think of the children being ridiculed on the playground and being taught to hate themselves because of their size.
However, one cannot ignore the obesity epidemic in America. You can’t ignore that almost 30% of America’s youth would not qualify for the armed services because of their weight. You can’t ignore that obesity is the #1 killer in America. You can’t ignore that America spends just under $300 billion in obesity related problems (for comparison, Canada spends just $30 billion). What would you say to this?
I haven’t been obese my whole life but I am currently and I hate it. I don’t hate myself, far from it. But I do hate that I am part of an ugly statistic about America. I get that not every obese American is a health-risk but eventually it will catch up with you. I am only 26. At my heaviest (240), I still had perfect blood pressure, very good cholesterol, and perfect lab work. Except for the number on the scale, there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me but I know that I’m young and at some point, I would become a burden on the health care system. Also, I was in the Army previously and always maintained a great weight and it kills me to think that now I would be barred from service because of my weight. I don’t want to live my life like that. I have no problem with how people live their lives, as long as it doesn’t affect anyone around them. However, I don’t think this can be said for the obese community. Truly, the obese have a major impact on the world around them and I think it’s a bit irresponsible to pretend that they don’t.
You don’t have to hate yourself to want to lose weight. Truly, you should love yourself enough to want to lose weight and live the longest, healthiest life you can. Just curious what your thoughts might be on some of the statistics I listed. I can provide references if you’re interested.
I hope you’re not offended by my comment as that was certainly not my intention. I truly am curious as to what those in the fat acceptance movement have to say about the cold, hard facts about obesity and its impact in the U.S.
I'm sorry if this posted a couple times (it doesn't appear so but just in case it did); every time I tried to post it, my computer acted up so I had to do it several times.
I like this post. And I'm happy for you.
It's unfortunate the vilifying thing goes in all directions not to just those like us that are overweight. I'm glad you stopped being ashamed of you.
Fly your flag proudly "I love me" : )
I want you to know...that anyone who tells you losing weight wont PROFOUNDLY change your life is FULL OF SHIT.
I'm with Pretty Woman. Losing weight doesn't give you a magically perfect life like some people think it does. I think learning to love yourself and enjoy your life, which you seem to have done, is a great thing. Congrats on achieving something most fat (or thin) people don't do.
Joy -- I'm most certainly not offended, everyone has a right to their own opinion. :) As far as the statistics, there are a lot of those on both sides. I don't exactly ignore that $300 billion statistic, but I don't think it's accurate. I was a nutrition major for several years before changing my mind about it, so I've done a lot of reading about the science. Based on what I know, I don't believe being fat causes high blood pressure, diabetes, blah blah blah. I don't think it CAUSES anything but social stigma. People always say that "someday" it'll catch up us fat people and we'll drop dead of some terrible fat-related illness. But plenty of thin people drop dead of heart attacks and strokes too. Fat may be CORRELATED, but as the motto goes, correlation isn't causation. If you'd like to know more about how the fat acceptance movement responds to the things you listed, some good sites are Shapely Prose, The F Word, and The Rotund. They've all explained things a lot more eloquently than I could.
Thanks Twix. :) It's true that many groups are vilified, guess fat's just my pet project. :)
PrettyWoman, people tell me that all the time. And I used to believe it. But what would it really change? I'd be able to buy clothes in more places. Maybe strangers would be kinder to me, but anyone who treats me poorly because of my weight can fuck right off in the first place. :) Those are really the only things that would change. I'm completely health by all biochemical markers, so it wouldn't change that. People yap about having more energy -- but that's a function of FITNESS, not WEIGHT. This is something I've thought a lot about, and I don't see any profound changes for me -- because I'm already happy and active. If losing weight is what made you happy, that's wonderful ... but I don't think it's that simple for most people.
Mary, I think you might have misread PrettyWoman's comment as I did at first! :) Because I reject the idea that weight loss means instant happiness, I actually had to read her comment several times because my brain kept scrambling it. :) As you said, learning to be happy is a hard to for anyone.
Joy, I found one of the statistics I was looking for, at http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/23210.php. A short excerpt:
"According to the [second] study, obesity and extreme obesity cause about 112,000 deaths per year, but being overweight was found to prevent about 86,000 deaths annually. Based on those figures, the net U.S. death toll from excess weight is 26,000 per year. By contrast, researchers found that being underweight results in 34,000 deaths per year."
There's also a UCLA study from 2007 that came to this conclusion:
"[D]ieters were not able to maintain their weight losses in the long term, and there was not consistent evidence that the diets resulted in significant improvements in their health. In the few cases in which health benefits were shown, it could not be demonstrated that they resulted from dieting, rather than exercise, medication use, or other lifestyle changes. It appears that dieters who manage to sustain a weight loss are the rare exception, rather than the rule. Dieters who gain back more weight than they lost may very well be the norm, rather than an unlucky minority."
There are a lot of studies along those lines. More to the point, fat acceptance is about the idea that any human deserves the same respect. People with MS, the handicapped, and people with other genetic diseases, they all cost the health system money -- and even IF fat people really cost that much (again, correlation vs. causation), there's a growing body of evidence that it is related to genetics, rather than just sitting around eating bacon dipped in chocolate. So why should people "suffering" from a genetic condition be treated differently? If the new research is correct, and weight is related to genetics, then treating a fat person differently is the same as treating someone differently for being short. And even if it's not genetic, a fat person is still just that, a person, deserving of all the respect and rights of anyone else.
K, leaving the soapbox now. :) There are a lot of great fat acceptance sites out there if you're inclined to google it. :)
Hello and thanks for responding. However, I felt the need to respond again as I feel that your comment totally glossed over a few of my points. For one, I never said that obese people should be treated differently because of their size. I think that everyone should be treated equally regardless of the color of their skin, their gender, their size, etc. So that is a moot point at this point in the conversation. No one here is saying that obese people should be treated differently.
I just can’t believe that you don’t feel that obesity causes anything. That’s like saying that all the doctors who say that it does are full of sh*t. I know you were a nutritionist major and all but that’s hardly a PHD (no offense) and really, I would think then that you of all people would realize exactly how dangerous obesity can be. You said that you don’t ignore the almost $300 billion price tag of obesity but I think that’s exactly what you and others in the FA movement are doing. I would really encourage you to research this further. For all intents and purposes, the majority of doctors agree that obesity is a very serious illness and a great burden on the country.
One of the articles you listed was 6 years old. In the medical field, obesity research that is 6 years old is almost useless. So much has changed since 2005 and truly, things have only gotten much worse.
You didn’t respond to the statistic that almost 30% of America’s youth were unfit to be in the military due to obesity rates. If 30% of America’s youth were barred from service because of a toxin found in water, don’t you think we would do something about it? You mentioned other illnesses and that we spend a lot of money on those problems. True, and let me be the first to say that I do consider obesity an illness and don’t just consider it a lack of willpower, so I’m glad that you compared obesity to an illness because I think that proves that you think it is something we should be trying to cure and prevent. As America has evolved, we have moved towards curing and preventing illness so shouldn’t the same be done for obesity? For most of the diseases you could get in the past or can get now, many have been eradicated and we have taken huge steps forward in cure rates and preventative rates. Obesity is only getting worse with time, and quickly too. A decade or so ago, some of these obesity stats would have been unheard of.
The other study you gave didn’t really make sense to me as to how it proves a point…it essentially said that people couldn’t sustain weight loss…how is that making a point? Weight loss is hard, no one is arguing that. I think if anything, that further proves how much we need to combat this illness. You only brought up mortality rates for the obese but deaths associated with obesity are only one part of the almost $300 billion price tag. Where America is losing money from the obese is from: increased need for medical care, loss of productivity due to disability and higher death rates among overweight and obese people.
I just don’t see how a rational person can think that obesity doesn’t cause anything in the face of all the overwhelming evidence, from esteemed medical professionals and government agencies, saying that it does.
Just got your comment on my blog. Thanks for your support in regards to my family's recent loss. That was very kind of you :)
BTW, sorry for all the postings (I know you said the spam caught them). I was using my work computer and it often messes up when I am trying to post comments so I am used to having to do them several times so I do apologize for the multiple postings.
Totally agree with Joy!
Obesity comes with its health issues, but that doesn't mean that every obese person has health issues. But that doesn't also mean that obesity should be condoned because not every obese person has health issues. If out of 10 obese people, 3 have health issues related to the extra weight, there's a problem. There's no need to wait for all 10 to develop diseases in order to take the matter seriously.
There are too many cases of people who would have more energy, lower blood pressure, even a better mental state (yes), if they would lose the extra EXTRA fat. This is not to say we must be skinny, this is to say that we must be HEALTHY. If a healthy weight for x is 200 pounds, for y it could be 150. At the end of the day though, we should all thrive for health. So to say that one should stay obese simply because one accepts him/herself is to be in denial. Accept yourself, fine --- I actually like that --- but that won't make obesity look any better or have lesser consequences.
Even you Fatty have complained about that "feeling of fullness" due to the extra weight in the abdominal area. Even you are trying to lose that extra. This goes to show that, though it is great for us to love ourselves, to accept ourselves, it is just as great to be real with ourselves.
Joy, I glossed over points because as I said, I really didn't write this trying to convert anyone to my point of view. I didn't want to set up a debate structure, perhaps because I was being defensive.
You're right, you never said fat people should be treated differently; I was just following the thought process about obesity being genetic and what one of the social implications of that are.
I think that doctors are misguided. Average M.D.s actually receive very little education in nutrition and metabolism, unless they specialize in bariatrics. How many doctors seen in the media, warning people of the dangers of fat, are truly specialists -- rather than the first local doctor the media outlet could dig up?
As far as all the costs of obesity ... nobody dies of or falls ill with "obesity". They die of stroke, heart attack, issues related to diabetes, etc. If fat is a CAUSE of those things, rather than a correlated symptom, why do thin people develop them? And why don't all fat people? It's just not that simple. I think the idea that insulin resistance is an underlying cause of all of these things, as well as genetics, is a more believable conclusion.
Adipose tissue just sits there; it isn't metabolically active, it doesn't DO anything, and it isn't even very vascular. It's storage. How does that make more cholesterol appear in the blood? How does that make plaque form in arteries? How does that increase blood pressure, unless the fat is exerting a pressor effect on the kidneys? How does that cause blood to clot and lodge in the brain, leading to stroke? How does fat cause the insulin receptors on cell membranes to cease responding to insulin and therefore allow blood sugar to rise, which is what type II diabetes is? The stuff literally just sits there. It may cause extra wear on weight-bearing joints; and if gained very quickly will of course put a strain on the heart. But I think that's the worst that simple fat cells can do.
Insulin, on the other hand, does all sorts of crap. It turns on the cholesterol-making mechanism in the cells and the liver; it activates the storage hormone that fills fat cells; and it stimulates smooth muscle proliferation in the arteries, causes the body to retain water to maintain electrolyte balance, and creates a low-level increase in adrenaline. This is all stuff in basic biochemistry textbooks. What's a bit newer is the idea of insulin resistance, where the receptors on cell surfaces have down-regulated and require more insulin in order to function and pull sugar out of the blood. Does diabetes cause that, or does that cause diabetes? Hard to say.
You're correct that the two links I listed are older; they were just the first I found. Since I changed my major a little over a year ago, I stopped closely following research and in fact deleted my research links.
As far as 30% of people not being eligible for military service because of weight, I really don't know how to respond to that. I don't understand why military eligibility is an important statistic. People get declined by the military for all kinds of things -- my cousin had to do an appeal to get her scholarship back because she had a mild grass allergy.
To be continued -- Chrome doesn't like it when I try to post very long comments.
Part two -- I didn't say obesity is an illness, I said it has a genetic basis. The other study I mentioned was meant to go along with that. Are 95%-98% of the population merely lying lazy binging slobs, and that's why they regain weight? Seems unlikely. Genetics are tricky things, though.
I brought up the revised mortality rates attributed to obesity as an example that those sort of statistics aren't set in stone and can be revised. Also, as I said, nobody literally dies of obesity. Those costs are related to the disorders associated, but not exclusively, with obesity. If the statement was that $300 billion is spent on illnesses relating to insulin resistance, I would be agreeing. But I think the case that obesity itself causes anything is quite lacking.
Are there fat people who are terribly unhealthy? Of course. There are also slender people who are very unhealthy and drop dead of heart attacks with no warning. Genetics predispose us all to certain things; but it's frightening to think there are things in our very DNA that can cause us harm and that we can do little about. How much more satisfying to say that it's a result of a choice to be slovenly and become fat, to blame the victim as it were.
I hope that explains my thinking more clearly. I don't advocate anyone go out and actively try to get hugely fat -- I merely believe that it's possible to be both health and fat, and unhealthy and thin, and every combination between.
Hopefully any more comments won't get stuck in the spam filter, I really don't know why that happened.
Hello Elle! As you said, not every obese person has health issues, and health is what's important. I do feel uncomfortable now, but I didn't 25 pounds ago -- and 25 pounds ago I was still very, very fat with a BMI of 45.
If someone is obese, and healthy, and accepts themselves, why not stay that way? And if someone is unhealthy and obese, but accepts themselves, why is it society's business what that person does? Why do we "hate people for their own good" (something Marilyn Wann said)? The statistic about them costing "the system" money is often trotted out as a response to that, but why don't we hate everyone who costs the system money? My uncle just died of pervasive bone cancer -- should he have been denied hospice care because he might have done something in his life to contribute to it? It seems inequitable.
Anyway, I agree everyone should try to be healthy, whether than involves weight loss or not.
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