Not that I'll be posting this for like twelve hours! I slept even later than usual today; it was a little cooler, so I wasn't waking up every ten minutes soaked in sweat, which was nice for a change. So far I've had some macaroni and cheese with chicken (made with Dreamfields LC pasta) and a whole bunch of water. Watched some Futurama and some South Park, read a little bit. Trying not to think too much about the date I have tomorrow. He's a nice guy, but I'm not really in to it. I was feeling optimistic when I invited him over a couple of days ago, but now I find myself wishing I could think of a good enough excuse to cancel yet again.
I keep wanting to text my ex, but I don't know what to say that won't sound stupid or whiny, so I've been holding off for a week now. I just hate not knowing what's going on with him. He just sort of faded away, and I don't know why. Maybe it doesn't even matter why. In fact, that probably would be the way to look at it: it doesn't matter why he stopped talking to me, only that he did and so he clearly doesn't care. I'm trying to remember that.
I don't feel terribly hungry, but I do feel like I should have some fruit or something for the nutrient value. Because my mac & cheese may have been yummy and low-carb, but it didn't have much actual value beyond the protein in the chicken and the calcium in the cheese. Some carrots would be good for me!
The friend who likes to lecture me about how I met my ex ran a 13k race this last weekend, and is very proud of herself. I'm not saying she shouldn't be, but ... I just don't get it. So she ran a long way. Yay? I can understand running to lose weight or for general fitness. I can understand running so you can run from attackers (I read too much). But just so you can say "I ran (this far)"? I don't get it. Again, not a condemnation of it or anything, I just don't understand the impetus. Similarly, I don't understand why my other friend's husband rides his bike 40 miles several times a week (in addition to a bunch of other workouts that are apparently so intense he has to be massaged to move the lactic acid out of his muscles every night so he can do it again the next day [which from what I've read is bullshit]).
Of course, they wouldn't understand why I read endlessly either. Different strokes, different folks, etc. However, her talking about it remind me of the infamous Couch to 5k program, which I've looked at and pondered before. Not because I care about the 5k, but just to try something new in a semi-guided fashion. Especially now that I can't afford a gym, so I can't swim or lift weights, which are the only two exercises I don't hate. And I've never seriously tried running, or even walking, as a scheduled form of exercise. Honestly, it hurt too fucking much. I spent so long waitressing or trotting around retail stores in uncomfortable shoes that my body hurt constantly from the ears down. Seven months of not doing that crap has seriously unkinked me, and I'm loving it. After a few months of my desk job, I was astounded to find that when I rolled out of bed in the morning I could walk. Right away. Without feeling like my feet were solid and incapable of flexing. It was pretty damn amazing.
Anyway, I think walking/running is something I might be able to do now. I do still have the problem of a bra that can sufficiently support the pounds of breasts bouncing on the front of my chest, but I think for the limits of C25k I have one that will work. Also, when I told my mom today I was nervous about walking around at night she sort of laughed at me. This used to be her house, and she rolled her eyes and told me it's safe. I'm still a little nervous, but ... I think I might go ahead and do it. I'd rather go to a nice air conditioned gym, but I'd feel better about spending money on that (once I have a job) if I already have an exercise habit. I might find I hate it more than I've ever hated anything, but I guess we'll see.
Well. That was interesting. Think I'll make it a separate post though.
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