Saturday, June 4, 2011

Two down, infinity to go.

The last two days of eating properly haven't even been that difficult. I need to not get ahead of myself, I do that a lot. I'll start thinking too hard about how long I have to be 'good' in order to achieve x, y, or z, and it feels impossible. For now, I need to just focus on day by day, rather than any sort of big picture.

I'm actually sort of ashamed at myself for even falling into the "must lose tons of weight" mindset again. I keep slipping in to it, and I know exactly why: a guy. But said guy has never given me any indication of interest, and really there's no reason to think that any amount of weight loss would change that. We've known each other for more than a year now, so if he was going to like me that way, he would already. I guess it's just a triggering issue for me. So I have to constantly fight myself to NOT think "I need to lose 100 pounds" every time I consider what I'm eating. It really accomplishes nothing but bumming me out!

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